Episode #03: Gay Chicanx Collage Artist, Ruby Marquez

Episode Summary:

Welcome to this week’s episode of Draws in Spanish where I chat with queer Chicanx collage artist, Ruby Marquez aka @Broobs on Instagram. Ruby and I get existential about what it “means to be Latinx,” the risks associated with making Selena fan art, using art as a coping strategy, and how Ruby processes the pressure to be perfect on social media. Ruby also divulges how they go about collecting source material for their collection, moving into music production, and why connecting with your culture is so much more than tracing your bloodline. Join me on this week’s episode to learn more about Ruby’s complex story as a queer Mexican-American artist.

Links:

• Connect with Ruby on Instagram, Patreon, and check out their shop here.

• Connect with me, Fabiola Lara, on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok.

• Bonus links: Duke Public Domain Day

Episode Notes:

If you’ve ever had a crisis about your Latinx identity, you’ll feel at home with this episode featuring Mexican-American collage artist Ruby Marquez. Ruby is very familiar with the emotional ups and downs surrounding Latinx identity and is on a never-ending journey to connect with their indigenous roots.

Ruby, who was initially encouraged to become a Firefighter by their father, connected with collage-making after taking a rouge photography class in college. Now, they’ve amassed a source material library of over 2,000 images, and are constantly finding new material online and offline in order to create their Catholicism-inspired collages.

With Ruby’s vast collection of photos, this San Fransisco-based collage artist is able to pay homage to victims of police violence by creating ornate tributes that honor victims with compassion. Ruby also makes portraits of LGBTQIA+, Latinx, and Black icons to raise awareness for both historic and present-day political movements.

Looking forward, Ruby dreams of creating a Fantasia-inspired video with a legendary lineup of Latinx musicians. Go ahead and listen to this week’s episode to hear more about Ruby’s Chicanx identity and how they connect with their culture through their work.

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or on your favorite podcast platform.

Topics Covered:

1. Connecting with and reclaiming your indigenous roots

2. Incorporating Catholic imagery into their work

3. Memorializing people through portraiture

4. Gathering source material for collages

5. Processing emotions through artwork

6. The struggles of perfectionism on social media

7. Oversharing on social media

Guest Info

Connect with Ruby on Instagram, Patreon, and check out their shop here.

Special Offer

Listeners of the podcast can get a free, undated weekly and monthly planner inspired by the show from our website here.

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Show Transcript (Automatically generated)
Ep 3 - Ruby Marquez

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[00:00:00] Fabiola Lara: Hi, everyone. Welcome to draws in Spanish, a podcast that showcases the creative journey of notable Latinx, visual artists and designers. I'm your host Fabiola Lara. Today on draws in Spanish, we have gays Chicanx collage, artists and photographer, Ruby Marquez, AKA Broobs on Instagram, Ruby who is currently based in San Francisco makes incredibly powerful and ornate collage portraits featuring queer and Latinx icons.

You've probably seen their collage work travel around Instagram. They've made collages of everyone from Nina Simone and Lil NAS X to more politically driven portraits of Brianna Taylor and George Floyd. Most recently, they were an Old Navy's Projectwe Latinx Heritage Month campaign, where they made a collage design for a shirt that's now being sold online and in stores.

They are truly a force to be reckoned with. And I'm so excited to be able to bring this conversation to you today.[00:01:00]

Ruby. Thank you so much for being on the podcast. I'm so excited to, have you I've been watching your work ever since your artwork kind of flew into my feed when you were paying homage to Brianna Taylor and George Floyd. And then I noticed, you know, I went to your page to check out the rest of your work that you've been doing this for quite some time, and I noticed that you were Latinx.

So that was really awesome to see. I kind of had you the back of my mind ever since, and when I put this podcast together, I was like, oh, I have to reach out and see if I can get them on it. So thank you for your time. No problem.

[00:01:37] Ruby Marquez: I'm really excited to talk.

[00:01:39] Fabiola Lara: So to kick things off, can you give the listeners a quick introduction to who you are and

your work?

[00:01:44] Ruby Marquez: My name is Ruby, but on Instagram I go by Broobs

I make a lot of very politically direct art that usually gets shared a good amount. I'm an artist. And I do what I can.

So I know that you were born in [00:02:00] Montebello, California in LA, and that you're currently in San Francisco. Can you tell me a little bit more about your childhood in LA and maybe what drew you to San Francisco?

So I grew up around mostly. Other like Latinx people. It was basically like 75% Latinx people, 25% Armenians, really random, but technically I think still considered east LA. And that's kinda like where I grew up around, you know, my grandma had a pinata shop. That was cool. She, she was the one that took care of me.

Like after school, she really like helped me grow as an artist after high school. Once I graduated from Montebello high school, I went to Rio Hondo community college, and then my dad wanted me to become a fireman. Uh, and I wasn't really, I wasn't really that into. Took a few classes. It just wasn't for me.

[00:02:53] Fabiola Lara: Yeah. Well, what're those classes like?,

[00:02:55] Ruby Marquez: like aggressively, straight.

[00:02:57] Fabiola Lara: Yeah. That's yeah. That seems like the [00:03:00] vibe that it wouldn't be. Yeah,

[00:03:01] Ruby Marquez: it was like very aggressively like macho man. And it's like, that's not who I am as a person. So it just, it didn't vibe. And then the last like semester that I was there. I told myself, like, you should just try out like a photography class.

You might like it. And so I did, and I got into the art show that spring, which really motivated me to like, look for school. That did photography. And then that summer I had somebody, I was dating at the time visit. He was going to Berkeley and he convinced me to move to San Francisco.

[00:03:39] Fabiola Lara: Well, that's nice though, to move somewhere with someone, right.

[00:03:43] Ruby Marquez: That story did not end

well,

[00:03:45] Fabiola Lara: but you're happy to be in San Francisco. Now, you haven't gone back?

Mean, I

[00:03:49] Ruby Marquez: go back to like visit family and, and mostly see my niece, but yeah. Yeah. But other than that, like, I don't, I can't [00:04:00] imagine living there. It's too hot.

[00:04:02] Fabiola Lara: That's true. That's true. I want to ask you, what is your connection to your indigenous roots?

Cause I've seen you mention it on some Instagram posts, but if you could elaborate and kind of explain that relationship

[00:04:14] Ruby Marquez: a little bit. Question for me just identity in general has always been kind of tough being, knowing well that you're like a by-product of, you know, colonization and still seeing your family like uphold these institutions that, that this to us is it's a lot of therapy.

Yeah.

[00:04:35] Fabiola Lara: That's true. On a more bare bone level, like where does your indigenous connection come from and

[00:04:43] Ruby Marquez: well,

that's something I think I'm still trying to figure out is my, my own family has done like a really poor job of just keeping like records. Uh, so like I know to my grandma. And that's about it. [00:05:00] Yeah.

Connecting to like your indigenous past isn't necessarily about like tracing back your blood. Right. But just like accepting that it is what it is and doing what feels right. And feels comfortable.

[00:05:13] Fabiola Lara: I consider this is just random. Would you ever consider doing one of those DNA or ancestry tests? Like how do you feel about that?

[00:05:19] Ruby Marquez: I did one because my sister forced me. Yeah, well it's cause like, you know, it got both sides or whatever with like, so she wanted to know the lineage, the like blood. I don't know. You know what I mean?

[00:05:34] Fabiola Lara: Genetic trace maybe. Yeah.

[00:05:36] Ruby Marquez: So we did it,

[00:05:37] Fabiola Lara: nothing super enlightening to you?

[00:05:39] Ruby Marquez: No, not really. I mean, yeah. My, my dad is like the white one, but he is from Mexico.

Well, thank

[00:05:47] Fabiola Lara: you for sharing.

Anyway. I feel like there's probably a lot of people out there who feel similarly. So even though, you know, it's like stressful and overwhelming, I think it's comforting for people to know that other people out there kind of still [00:06:00] struggle with that. I mean, I personally, like, I don't know much about my family in Chile.

And so, you know, if, if someone asks me that question, I'd also be like, I don't know, I'm my family is from Chile general. Um, so I was just curious to get your take on it. Um,

Yeah. I mean, it's, it's definitely different for everybody. And I think it's still something that I'm trying to, not only understand, but like unpack for myself because I was growing up.

I was pretty into like the church as a whole, so I didn't question that.

Okay. So if you're not, so in about your specific. Roots or lineage or what that means. How do you connect just with your Chicanx kind of heritage and culture?

I feel like

[00:06:45] Ruby Marquez: my connection to my culture is through my family and it's whatever we do, as long as we're together.

That's, that's what it is. I think that's, I think that's the strongest connectionn that you could have to, to that part of your life or that part of who you are.

[00:06:59] Fabiola Lara: [00:07:00] I was going to say, I know that, that you are raised just from reading different interviews about you, by your mom and your Catholic grandma. So can you tell me how maybe Catholicism influences your work?

[00:07:11] Ruby Marquez: I mean, you could definitely see the imagery, like in my work, I was never really good at paying attention in church. So I'd always stare at like the like stained windows and try to understand like what I was looking at, because some of it's like really wild. It's just like, you know, a woman floating on a cloud with like a serpent underneath her.

And you're like, how does that make sense? But yeah, you, but you learn to accept it for what it is, you know, but it is this like really surrealist like imagery that you just learned to like be okay with and not question. And I think that's like a lot of my work is kinda influenced by that because I, I use the same kind of structure so that people don't really question the validity of what they're seeing.

You know, it's just, they accept that. Like a lot of my work has been used mostly for like memorializing [00:08:00] people. And so I think the first thing that media does as a whole is blame people for their deaths that did not need to happen.

[00:08:09] Fabiola Lara: Right. I mean, I think just for any listeners, I think you're referring specifically to like your portraits or I'm not sure the right, the collages for Brianna Taylor and for George Floyd.

You feel — that's what you're talking about in this instance, right.

[00:08:24] Ruby Marquez: In this instance, I am, I don't really know what to call them either. So it's all good. Yeah. But it kind of makes people just accept that life as a whole is just holy and we should be defending and working to eradicate like the systems of opression.

[00:08:40] Fabiola Lara: Definitely. I feel like your work really paints these people in like a positive light and that's always needed when there's like media coverage, from "both sides" that you don't, you know, you want to make sure you get the right image out there. And I think your work kind of pushes that forward, which is really enlightening and nice.

So [00:09:00] going back to your family and stuff, how does your family feel about your career as an artist? And did you ever face any like skepticism. What does that look like? Since I know a lot of, like, there's not that many Latinx people kind of quote, making it an art.

[00:09:16] Ruby Marquez: I don't think they ever really understood what I was going for.

[00:09:19] Fabiola Lara: I also feel that way. And I think that gives me a sense of reassurance.

[00:09:24] Ruby Marquez: I think it wasn't until like, maybe this last year that my mom was like, oh, you're actually doing something for yourself.

[00:09:30] Fabiola Lara: Was that because of the old Navy campaign that you're in?

[00:09:33] Ruby Marquez: No, it was the Netflix. It was like this Netflix thing I did for the show Gentefiedand, she was like, oh, that's something that I know

[00:09:44] Fabiola Lara: they gave her the content.

She had like the context for it.

[00:09:46] Ruby Marquez: Yeah. And she was like, and they want to work with. And I'm like, yeah, she was excited.

[00:09:52] Fabiola Lara: She was excited and on board.

[00:09:54] Ruby Marquez: Well then my sister showed her my Instagram and she's like, oh, okay. And ever since then, she's [00:10:00] been a little bit, or a lot more accepting of what I'm doing.

That's awesome! I'm glad

[00:10:04] Fabiola Lara: It shouldn't have to take that, but I'm glad that those things have kind of maybe sped up the process.

[00:10:10] Ruby Marquez: Yeah. I mean, you also have to look at it through like their lens where my mom came here when. I think like nine or 10 or something like that, you know? And she, all she wanted for me is to like, do better than what she did for herself. And unfortunately we have a lot stacked against us in our generation. So I'm, I'm just trying to be happy

[00:10:30] Fabiola Lara: I think that's important because I think sometimes with like Latin families, it's like maybe happiness isn't the priority that cause the priority for such a long time is like getting food on the table and just like basic essential needs that happiness kind of gets pushed back.

So it's really nice to hear that you're able to prioritize that when maybe culturally that's not generally what's going on.

[00:10:55] Ruby Marquez: That's a great point to bring up. Like before we were just trying to survive and [00:11:00] now we get to deal with all the, the internalized like shit that we never dealt with.

[00:11:05] Fabiola Lara: I think maybe I think that's maybe why parents, uh, there's like a disconnect, right? Like doing art. It can feel like disconnected. Are there any, um, Latinx or Chicanx stereotypes that you're tired of? I want to make sure that like with every episode we can kind of like educate just a tiny bit. If there's somebody who's unaware of something.

I think we

[00:11:28] Ruby Marquez: need to stop painting portraits of Selena.

[00:11:30] Fabiola Lara: Ooh. Yes. I agree.

[00:11:33] Ruby Marquez: And it's not because I don't love her because I do love her, but that family. Yo, no, I'm sorry.

[00:11:42] Fabiola Lara: I'm not super caught up on Selena's family, but it feel like they're not upholding her legacy, in the best way?

[00:11:49] Ruby Marquez: They're not upholding her legacy, especially when it comes to her fans. There's a lot of fans out there that love to pay her because she has beautiful.

Let's let's not lie about that shit. [00:12:00] But at the end of the day, like they're going to find you and they're going to Sue you. Done that too many people that I've known. And it's like, I can't one thing I do notice is like, when artists are trying to get like attention or like an easy sale, that's like the first thing they do, you know, they do that.

Or the. Yeah. You know, the concha or like, you know, like things, you know, like typically people will buy at like a art market or something like that, but it's like, just be careful if you're going to like paint her.

[00:12:28] Fabiola Lara: So specifically Selena specifically Selena. All right. So that's a word, a word of caution to fellow illustrators.

Yes. To be aware that this could happen. Is there, where did the nickname or username Broobs come from? I feel like I was looking around and then I never saw like the origin story. Is there something there?

Yeah. Ruby Broobs I have a

[00:12:49] Ruby Marquez: friend. Her name was Greta. Uh, I met her in art school, like the first semester and she was from Monterey she just started calling me like Broobs and [00:13:00] I kind of loved it and then it kinda just stuck and everybody kind of called me that since then.

[00:13:04] Fabiola Lara: Cute. I like it. It's fun. Okay. Shifting back to your work. Yeah, like you said, you went to community college to be a firefighter with the intent to be a firefighter. And then it was too much to much, too straight, and so you moved to, you took a digital photography class. How did you go from photography to digital collage?

[00:13:25] Ruby Marquez: To me it's like pretty much all in the same when I was in school. I mean the first, like three years, I wasn't allowed to like use any Photoshop, but that has always been something that I really liked to do.

And then once I got the freedom to do whatever I wanted to do these kinds of like portraits that I've been doing have always been kind of. In my head. I just didn't know how to like get them out. And so slowly I kinda learned how to like speed up the process,

[00:13:50] Fabiola Lara: like learning,

[00:13:50] Ruby Marquez: learning how to, how, how it all works and how to put it together.

[00:13:53] Fabiola Lara: Just technically. Yeah. Got it. You were able to bring your vision awesome. Something that I didn't [00:14:00] realize. Just looking at your Instagram. I didn't realize that the greenery and the foliage and the flowers that you use are from your own like collection that you take yourself. So can you tell me how big this collection is now?

Since you've created so many and like why you went this route as opposed to like stock images?

[00:14:20] Ruby Marquez: So I have about a thousand. Images that I own myself. And the reason I did that was because when you get hired by a company, they prefer like for collage artists, they prefer if you own all the images yourself, because it makes it easier for them.

And it makes it easier for everybody because then otherwise you would have to like credit everywhere you got the images.

[00:14:45] Fabiola Lara: Got it. So it's more than just like licensing it. It's also a matter of credit.

[00:14:50] Ruby Marquez: Yeah. I was like, if I'm going to be trying to do this as a job, you know, might as well like make it easier on my myself.

[00:14:57] Fabiola Lara: Well easier, but also I [00:15:00] don't see it as easier. I see it. I see it as harder, but you have kind of your own creative control over the images.

[00:15:07] Ruby Marquez: I also have a library of copyright free material and that's like another like thousand. Yeah. And so I like, it depends on the project, like, uh,i'll use what I want.

[00:15:17] Fabiola Lara: How often are you adding to this? Is this like daily or you're just walking around and grabbing stuff or do you purposely kind of go out for. Kind of capturing walks or something.

[00:15:26] Ruby Marquez: So like for flowers and like leaves and stuff like that, it's like whenever I'm out and I see something, I'll use my phone and then for like copyright free stuff, I use free open source libraries.

I know the Met has like a really big one cause I went through it. Nice. And so does the art Institute of Chicago? They have a really big one as well. And if you just like Google, like open source libraries, like there's a lot out there. So that's, I, I do that like every six months just to like freshen up my eyes, sometimes they add more stuff and then I also [00:16:00] kind of pay attention to like, what's falling into public domain to see like what else I could steal.

[00:16:05] Fabiola Lara: How do you keep track of that? Or are you just like randomly checking?

[00:16:08] Ruby Marquez: There are some websites. That I use. I forget what it's called though.

[00:16:12] Fabiola Lara: You don't have to give us all your secrets. I was just curious.

[00:16:15] Ruby Marquez: Uh, I mean, I don't care. It's it's it's public domain for a reason cause everybody owns it. It's a very weird website.

It's web.law.duke.edu.

[00:16:28] Fabiola Lara: Ooh, academic. Yeah. Okay. That's cool. Yeah.

[00:16:33] Ruby Marquez: And public domain. And it breaks down, like everything that's coming into the public domain year by year.

[00:16:39] Fabiola Lara: That's so awesome. Not only just to like, use in your own work, but also to kind of see the shifts happening and then you can kind of identify, I just imagined like, oh then the next couple years I see something at target. I'm like, oh, it's cause that fell into public domain.

[00:16:53] Ruby Marquez: Yeah. I mean the biggest thing that just like fell into public domain is the great Gatsby. So. In the next, like [00:17:00] few years, we're probably going to see like a lot of renditions of it.

[00:17:04] Fabiola Lara: That's crazy to think about commercial kind of vulture is ready to hop on it.

[00:17:09] Ruby Marquez: Yeah. I mean, go for it.

[00:17:11] Fabiola Lara: Yeah, definitely. No, I'm talking more so. Big brands, you know, but artists should have at it. And I think not enough people, I definitely feel like I don't keep track of this. I just kind of, until someone puts it in my face. Um, so it's cool that you're kind of doing that research constantly.

So your early work focuses more on like queer figures and history, and then shifted to more like present day figures, especially in the wake of the 2020 police murders.

Can you tell me about that shift and why it felt necessary to you?

[00:17:42] Ruby Marquez: Always been both. I feel okay. It might at least in my head, maybe not on like my feed,, but

[00:17:47] Fabiola Lara: I guess from my point of view, it seemed like more historic and then it kind of moved to more present day. That's kind of like the shift that I noticed.

[00:17:54] Ruby Marquez: Yeah.

I mean, so when I like started being more active and more, yeah, I guess more [00:18:00] active with like posting and shit. It was more of like a personal project when I started one of my first big projects was like this like mini pride series. And I put together just cause like queer history is something that's often very lost, especially because, you know, we essentially lost like a whole generation of people due to aids.

So I just kinda got tired of like seeing the whole rainbow capitalism love is love, like bullshit. And I was like, all right, let's go down to the nitty gritty and see if. What this is actually about, and that's kind of where it started. And I try to continue doing that every year. But during June of 2020, it just felt necessary to kind of, I mean, you, you have to, you know, it, actually, at that point it felt like a very pivotal moment that could change this nation.

Right? Yeah. And it's a shame that we kind of we're here now.

[00:18:54] Fabiola Lara: It continues. I love those portraits and collages. And I feel like [00:19:00] a lot of other people did. And I can see that you were just like naturally compelled to kind of speak up in a way with your portraits. Now that so many people have been introduced to you via your political collages. Do you feel any pressure to keep incorporating those themes?

[00:19:14] Ruby Marquez: No, cause that's kind of like who I am as a person. I mean, there is pressure, but it's like, it's not because of that. It's more just like, you know, in my own head to say, and do like the right shit, but I'm also a fucking human, you know, I'm going to get shit wrong.

When I started making art, I did it because I wanted to teach myself and to learn and. I feel like that's something that's been kind of lost in the movement. Is that like perfection in everything that you do and what you say and what you put out has to always be there. And people aren't allowed to learn from their mistakes.

And I kind of want to keep that space open because otherwise we're closing a lot of people off from joining the movement and it's gonna like [00:20:00] take everybody. And I don't necessarily believe that people can't learn to be better humans. I think as long as you have compassion and empathy, like I think we're going to be fine, but I mean, lately I haven't really put anything out one because I have, COVID two, I'm really tired.

[00:20:18] Fabiola Lara: 'Right. I guess when I asked that question, I meant like the pressure, like to keep up, get a collage for every person, that's either going through something or the next big kind of political moment. If that feels like a pressure,

[00:20:31] Ruby Marquez: it doesn't feel like a pressure to me. I'm one person, you know, in, in all of this, I could do what I can to what I make as a it's beautiful art.

But at the end of the day, like these things weigh on me. As much as they weigh on everybody else. And it's, it's hard to like deal with your emotions and not know how to deal with those emotions. And to then constantly be reminded about it because you posted a fucking art piece about

[00:20:57] Fabiola Lara: That to me, just from this point of view, I'm like, that must be [00:21:00] hard, you know, to deal with like making are about the thing that you're also struggling with. How do you balance that? If anything, or do you have any coping mechanisms for that or is making the art, the coping mechanism?

[00:21:12] Ruby Marquez: Yes, I, no. I want to say that it is like my coping mechanism, but at the same time, it's not honestly, I don't know how to deal with my emotions.

[00:21:21] Fabiola Lara: I mean, yea we all don't to an extent. Well, thank you for sharing that you kind of keep the. I feel like from what you've been saying, you're try to be gentle on yourself in terms of quote, keeping up with kind of the news and keeping up with art making. And I feel like you give yourself some grace.

[00:21:41] Ruby Marquez: I mean, I've always been a very openly. Emotional person. I've never really been afraid to like, share how I'm feeling. I used to really treat my Instagram as like a diary really. Um, and I would just like put it all out there. And some of me like kind of misses that because like, now that there's a lot of [00:22:00] people like watching and judging, I'm like afraid to like put stuff out there that I would normally want to put out.

But it's also like, I've just been dealing with a lot of like, mental health stuff this last year. And so I just haven't really had the energy to do much in general in art.

[00:22:19] Fabiola Lara: I mean, it sounds like when you were working through a bunch of emotions, like, it seems like you are over the past year. Of course, it's going to be hard to then like a share about it.

Be shared about it on Instagram. Um, when there's like, you know, you don't necessarily know who's watching or who's, it's just a weird, um, Uh, relationship. So that, that sounds understandable.

[00:22:41] Ruby Marquez: I think I, once I found out that, like my mom sees my stuff, I was like, oh no, I can't really post it here anymore. I can't post about it.

[00:22:51] Fabiola Lara: You got to block your mom.

[00:22:53] Ruby Marquez: She was okay. Somebody's sister blocked me from her account, but she still sees all my stuff. I think she made like another [00:23:00] burner account just to keep up with you.

[00:23:02] Fabiola Lara: That's — is that love?

[00:23:04] Ruby Marquez: Which I get like, she's a little she's, you know, she wants to know about me. And so I, I understand it, but

[00:23:13] Fabiola Lara: I think it's always, you know, you have to deal with your own stuff before you can like start putting it everywhere and start talking about it. So...

[00:23:21] Ruby Marquez: I've always been the opposite. I always like just put it out there to like,

[00:23:24] Fabiola Lara: yes. That's. Yeah. I mean, I do that too, but I think like when you're coping with maybe deeper topics, that's when it gets overwhelming.

[00:23:34] Ruby Marquez: Yeah. And I think that. Ultimately freaked my mom out.

[00:23:38] Fabiola Lara: Is there a specific thing she freaked out about?

[00:23:40] Ruby Marquez: In like, like January, February of 2020? Like I kinda had a little breakdown, um, and I posted about it on Instagram, so she got to see it all and. She was really worried about me. So my sister was like, all right, you can't follow them anymore, [00:24:00]

[00:24:00] Fabiola Lara: I guess now. So now you feel like you're just going to do it in private.

[00:24:03] Ruby Marquez: Yeah. But I also, like there was something therapeutic about just like putting it out there.

Yeah. It's almost like grabbing all your feelings and like squishing them into a ball and then just like throwing them out into space. Right. And like,

[00:24:15] Fabiola Lara: you know, that there's like your followers are going to see. Yeah,

[00:24:18] Ruby Marquez: but then again, like, I don't know,

[00:24:20] Fabiola Lara: who are they? It's feels,

[00:24:22] Ruby Marquez: well, it's not that like, not like who are they?

But like, it just, it almost felt like you were just throwing it into a void, you know? And there was something, yeah, it was therapeutic to just like grab it and just like, you know,

[00:24:34] Fabiola Lara: Until your mom.

[00:24:36] Ruby Marquez: I found out my mom sees my stuff and, uh, I love her, but I also like curate a lot of like what she sees because. I don't need that much judgment.

[00:24:48] Fabiola Lara: You got to do what you had to do to like protect yourself. So it makes sense.

[00:24:52] Ruby Marquez: Yeah. I mean, uh, there's a re like a big reason why I moved away from like my family. Like, I do really love them and [00:25:00] appreciate everything they've done for me, but like I had to grow into my own person.

[00:25:05] Fabiola Lara: And it's hard to do that when you're so close.

[00:25:07] Ruby Marquez: Yeah, exactly. And I had essentially unlearn everything I learned as a child to become the person I wanted to be. And so sometimes there's a lot of disagreements with just how fucking queer I am, or it varies. It ranges on like topics and stuff.

[00:25:23] Fabiola Lara: Do you feel like your family disagrees with some of the artwork that you post or just the captions or unrelated to that I'm related to your Instagram or your artwork?

[00:25:33] Ruby Marquez: Unrelated to my art. I've never really asked them what they thought. To be honest,

[00:25:38] Fabiola Lara: we have your mom on the line. Yeah. Ah, that'd be crazy. Okay. I've never asked my parents what they think of my art. I just assumed they like it too. I like it.

[00:25:51] Ruby Marquez: Do you care?

[00:25:52] Fabiola Lara: No, it's fine. It's like irrelevant. As long as they're just like good job because my parents aren't going to like outright say like, what are you doing? Even if they're thinking it.

[00:26:00] I feel that, you know, they're just going to be,

[00:26:02] Ruby Marquez: I think I got past that point though, where I'm like, I am doing it for me.

[00:26:05] Fabiola Lara: Yeah, exactly. Good. So recently, when you shared about the old Navy campaign that you're in, you stated in your Instagram caption, that being included in the effort made you quote, have a sort of existential look at yourself, your roots, your idea. Do you mind elaborating more on those feelings I'm asking, because I personally think that you're totally deserving of being a part of that campaign, so it was just kind of shocked to see that you felt that way.

[00:26:30] Ruby Marquez: Yeah. I mean, one of the questions they asked you and it was like, what makes you proud to be like Latinx? And I was like, what is it to be Latinx? You know? And so I think that's where it kind of like made me spiral a bit was like identity is such a like weird thing for me as we talked about before. So I had to essentially like, really think about what I, who I am and what I am,

[00:26:59] Fabiola Lara: yeah it makes you [00:27:00] get really like existential.

[00:27:01] Ruby Marquez: Yeah. And then it's like, fuck the Spaniards. But also. I don't fucking know what I'm doing and I didn't know what to make for the art. It just made me really, I was like, I'm not really deserving of this. Um, the other people in this campaign, like they're like real artists. Cause they like, you know, they draw and they paint and then yeah,

[00:27:24] Fabiola Lara: I definitely see your collage work as you know, like just as valid. Illustrating or anything like that. So, but I understand maybe like, you know, that self criticism and I think it's maybe ironic that it makes you question yourself because when they ask, you know, in campaigns, like I assume when like campaigns like that, ask those questions, they just want like a short and cute.

You know, like they just don't like, because I'm proud of like being Latino, you know? Like they just want something cute to put on like the hero image. It's like, ironic that you're like, oh no. [00:28:00] When I'm like, probably the person who wrote that question was just like, tell me something, you know,

[00:28:05] Ruby Marquez: I feel. Yeah. And then during the shoot, we had to do like an interview where they like recorded our voices so that they could dictate what we said or whatever. And they asked me that question again, and I was like,

[00:28:18] Fabiola Lara: this is too much.

[00:28:20] Ruby Marquez: I was like, I don't know if you want to go down this rabbit hole.

[00:28:23] Fabiola Lara: It's not necessarily campaign friendly to be like,

[00:28:25] Ruby Marquez: yeah. And then the girl was like, uh, yeah. Um, this is like, Everybody's been having a hard time answering

[00:28:34] Fabiola Lara: It's really deep to be like, what makes you proud to be Latinx that's deep. That's so deep.

[00:28:39] Ruby Marquez: Yeah. And then I ended up crying and then she ended up crying and it was like,

[00:28:44] Fabiola Lara: Oh my gosh, even if you didn't get to the answer of that question, at least like you worked through some sort of feelings.

[00:28:52] Ruby Marquez: I don't remember what I said to be honest. I just kinda like,

[00:28:56] Fabiola Lara: I think it's on the website, like you said,

[00:28:57] Ruby Marquez: I don't think they use, like what I said, [00:29:00] said, you know, I think they like sanitized it a lot. Yeah.

[00:29:04] Fabiola Lara: Yeah. It makes sense. It makes sense. Well, I like the artwork that you made for that, even if you felt like it came from a place of maybe chaos or confusion, I think it's still turned out like a great project.

[00:29:15] Ruby Marquez: I mean, I kind of used. I was talking to my mom about like, mom, go with problems. She usually solves them or helps. And I was like, I have no idea what to do. And she's like, well, how about you make this? You know, how about you make a concha, you know, or something, you know, the stuff that, you know, everybody sees everywhere and I'm like, no, I don't really.

Like, that's not my vibe. That's not really me. And she's like, well, what is you? Like, what, what are, what, what are you into? What, like, what are you? And I'm like, I don't know, I guess. And she's like, well, it seems like you're trying to like, reclaim your like indigenous roots. So why don't you start [00:30:00] there? And like, by doing research, and then I started seeing like pottery and I was like, well, I have flowers, you know, I could fill the beautiful vases with flowers.

[00:30:09] Fabiola Lara: So even though you weren't able to, like, when I asked you earlier about your indigenous roots, it wasn't like a clear cut answer. You still through this project were able to kind of reconnect by researching a little bit more. Yeah, that's awesome. I feel like when I asked you before, it was like, I have no clue and I'm like, oh, but you do seem to have like some connection, even if it's first hand.

[00:30:33] Ruby Marquez: Yeah. It's also like, not as deep as I would like it to be, but it's also, I mean, I'm not dead yet, so it's hard. Yeah. It's going to keep going you know,

[00:30:42] Fabiola Lara: It's a constant thing. You're not just like, they want to going to get to the bottom of it.

[00:30:47] Ruby Marquez: Yeah. It's not like you open the door and it's full enlightenment. Yeah.

[00:30:51] Fabiola Lara: I thank you for sharing that because I think a lot of people probably feel that way either with their indigenous roots or just with their culture in general.

I saw on your [00:31:00] website that people can submit stories for you to make a tribute collage for. Can you tell me how, how this project is going for you or how the selection.

[00:31:09] Ruby Marquez: I haven't gotten any.

[00:31:11] Fabiola Lara: Oh my gosh. Well, to be, to be honest, I didn't know you were doing this until I like dug around through your website. So while maybe if anyone's listening, they can go submit. If you're still taking submissions.

[00:31:26] Ruby Marquez: You know, the 2020 like uprisings, but I felt like it was like full blown chaos then...

[00:31:32] Fabiola Lara: Everyone was like in emergency mode. Yeah.

[00:31:34] Ruby Marquez: But yeah, I'm still down to do that. I'm just trying to like, get back on my feet.. Yeah,

[00:31:39] Fabiola Lara: Definitely. No, you should probably definitely prioritize that. What made you want to kind of start doing that?

[00:31:45] Ruby Marquez: I don't know. I just felt like it was something I could offer to people by way of like giving back.

[00:31:50] Fabiola Lara: That's awesome. I'm I'm hoping some people submit now. I think that it's like a very collaborative, but also like, like a good way to pay homage to someone pay [00:32:00] tribute to someone in a collaborative way. It's like, I don't want to say sweet, but it feels sweet.

I noticed that you are also part of the drag community in San Francisco. So can you tell

[00:32:10] Ruby Marquez: lightly, lightly,

[00:32:12] Fabiola Lara: can you tell us about your involvement?

[00:32:14] Ruby Marquez: Never done like drag to make money or to go out and perform. So that's why I said, lightly, I was like, let's put that out there. I'm more of a observer. And now I helped my friend, Nikki with making her artwork for her show called reparations happens every second, Friday of the month at Oasis, which is a bar. In San Francisco. Um, and it's an all black drag show.

[00:32:42] Fabiola Lara: I'm so glad to hear that you are contributing your artwork.

[00:32:45] Ruby Marquez: Yeah. I mean, again, it's like the least I could do. She's always been nothing but like sweet towards me. And it's like, I'm just glad that she asked me to be a part of it.

[00:32:54] Fabiola Lara: Yeah. Well, I hope one day, you know, if, if you so desire to get more [00:33:00] involved with drag, I hope we see it.TBD TBD. How do you get in the zone too? Or like in the mood to make your collages? Or do you have any rituals around your creative process?

[00:33:11] Ruby Marquez: I used to get really high before I started and now I just kind of sit down and listen to music.

Perfect.

[00:33:17] Fabiola Lara: Do you just feel like you need to make a collage or do you have like, oh, this week I have to make these, do you get what I'm saying? Like, do you just kind of go with the flow when a collage kind of calls you?

[00:33:26] Ruby Marquez: Yeah, I go with the flow usually when I'll have, you know, my ear to the ground to see like what's going on politically and to see what's happening in around the world. But like, I don't really have an agenda for what I'm putting out, except for when I do like projects, like my pride series, then I'll like try to like sit down and like plan what I'm going to be doing.

[00:33:49] Fabiola Lara: Something a little bit more like long-term a cohesive sets.

[00:33:52] Ruby Marquez: Yeah, exactly.

[00:33:53] Fabiola Lara: Cool. Okay. I saw you did an MLK collage this past January where you animated it slightly to kind of, [00:34:00] it almost looked like the plants and flowers were blooming around him. Would you consider animating more collages in the future?

[00:34:06] Ruby Marquez: Oh, yeah, definitely.

[00:34:07] Fabiola Lara: Is that something you're exploring. Was that like a one-off or did you do more of the agency more? I was like, he started then he stopped.

[00:34:13] Ruby Marquez: It was basically like a one-off because in high school I actually learned how to animate and I was like, oh, I could do animation with, uh, my collages. And it's very stop motion animation, but it is what it is.

[00:34:26] Fabiola Lara: You know, it looks, it feels like really natural to the collage

[00:34:29] Ruby Marquez: I actually have like a, a collab that's coming out soon. Yeah. And they had me animate all the collages

[00:34:36] Fabiola Lara: oh, that's awesome. I'm excited to see that.

[00:34:38] Ruby Marquez: It's 11 of them.

[00:34:39] Fabiola Lara: Wow. I'm excited. That's cool. I feel like, um, when I saw that I was really like, I felt like it brought it to life a little bit more and it kind of left me wanting more.

[00:34:50] Ruby Marquez: Yeah. The only thing is that it kind of takes a minute to like animate.

Um, but like,

it is, it is high budget, but it's like, one of my [00:35:00] goals for like life is to make a whole movie, which is kind of, kind of like insane. Yeah. But it's like not really a movie, but like an art film.

I'm still working out like the details or whatever. Uh, I just started like producing music recently. So I'm like thinking maybe I'll just like do everything. But then I also like was talking to my friend Diana about it and she's kind of like into writing music with me for it. So we'll see what comes of that specifically.

But I want to do like a completely like stop motion. Animation film about yeah. About, you know, something, uh, that's in my head. I don't want to really talk about just yet.

[00:35:44] Fabiola Lara: I can't wait to see that. I feel like, uh, seeing how it all ties together will be really cool and seeing it kind of blossomed more

[00:35:54] Ruby Marquez: well, like my, my ultimate goal would to be just like having Latinx artists [00:36:00] like make like one song for like the thing and then just like animating on top of it. Like Fantasia.

[00:36:05] Fabiola Lara: Yes.

[00:36:06] Ruby Marquez: Yeah. Very that, but like, not that

[00:36:10] Fabiola Lara: in execution, not in content

[00:36:12] Ruby Marquez: and like in, in concept, not in like, yeah,

[00:36:16] Fabiola Lara: that will be awesome. I am going to be waiting for that for sure. So this is like a dream project for you, but what would be a dream commission for you? Um, I know you just talked about one that just came that you just mentioned this dropping soon. Is there anything else that would be like kind of the next frontier?

[00:36:31] Ruby Marquez: I want to do somebodies like whole album rollout music is something that's like really influential with me. You know, I listened to it while I'm making the art.

And it's something that has like very, I don't know how to quite explain this. It's like, I listened too deeply to lyrics. I listened to deeply to, to the noises used and it's very moving to me. And so I want to be a part of like a project like that. I have like a set of like dream artists, you know? I would like to do that far, [00:37:00] but I'm also like kind of picky when it comes to like doing that for, for artists.

I'm like, if you're not good enough, I'm sorry. Like, yeah, we gotta be making fucking. Fucking art, high art here. Otherwise I'm not interested.

[00:37:17] Fabiola Lara: I saw you shared like your playlist that you were listening to. So I thought that was, you know, I can see that it's an important part of your process.

[00:37:23] Ruby Marquez: Yeah. I used to do like a monthly playlist. I just got a little overwhelmed.

[00:37:28] Fabiola Lara: Well, you say that you've been overwhelmed. Do you mean you're overwhelmed as social media or are you saying overwhelmed? Like just in general with life and you know, personal.

[00:37:37] Ruby Marquez: Okay. Everything goes always going wrong. But uh, I mean, it is what it is, but at the same time, I'm just like, you know, it is what it is.

Yeah. I mean, at this point you kind of just learn to roll with the punches, but like, I feel like time just like move so quickly. So like doing a monthly thing, like that is just like very hard because

[00:37:59] Fabiola Lara: yeah, by the time you do [00:38:00] it, you owe another.

[00:38:01] Ruby Marquez: Yeah, exactly. And then you also, like, you want it to have like good intention.

You want it specifically with like the playlist I was making and I wanted it to flow very nicely. I wanted it to like give you a feeling or like

usually sounds like it would. Yeah, you can make, like, I

would also give like specific instructions, like, all right, listen, start this, like playlist off. Like when you start your like bubble bath or whatever, or like when you start your walk.

Yeah. Well, one day, if they will, I, I don't think I'm going to do monthly. Cause just cause like goddamn,

[00:38:34] Fabiola Lara: but even like a quarterly BI annual playlist.

[00:38:39] Ruby Marquez: Yeah. I'm learning slowly. How to be more proactive. I think a lot of these past five, six years I've been in like a very deep depression and I'm just like slowly coming out of it.

[00:38:53] Fabiola Lara: I'm sorry to hear that.

[00:38:54] Ruby Marquez: I mean, it is what it is. I mean,

[00:38:56] Fabiola Lara: it's still tough, even if you like, even if it is what it [00:39:00] is, it's still hard.

[00:39:01] Ruby Marquez: Yeah. I mean, it's hard not realizing that you're really depressed and still trying to do like hella shit.

[00:39:09] Fabiola Lara: Yeah. Yeah. You're like, everything's fine. Keep it. Everything's done versus going, keep pumping it out and then

[00:39:14] Ruby Marquez: keep moving and you're going to be great. And then, you know, it all comes,

[00:39:18] Fabiola Lara: it all catches up eventually.

[00:39:20] Ruby Marquez: Yeah. Water overflows. And you're like, oh shit,

[00:39:23] Fabiola Lara: are you finding a better balance? Now?

[00:39:25] Ruby Marquez: I felt like I was. And then I got sick.

[00:39:30] Fabiola Lara: Well, I think that, you know, you'll make a full recovery and hopefully get back on the train, whatever that is for you.

[00:39:35] Ruby Marquez: I am just so angry that I'm sick.

[00:39:37] Fabiola Lara: I feel you that's frustrating. That's frustrating because prior to getting COVID, were you sick at all? Past couple idk since 2020 guess,

[00:39:48] Ruby Marquez: Nothing other than just like allergies, you know, and I was also being like a good little baby and staying home and, you know, luckily I don't work like a front facing [00:40:00] job anymore, so I wasn't being exposed to it. And I think I just got it, like going to get groceries or some shit.

[00:40:08] Fabiola Lara: Yeah. It's bound to happen to like going to happen. So like don't what I'm trying to say. Like, don't beat yourself up for getting it, but it's still so frustrating to like, feel sick.

[00:40:19] Ruby Marquez: Yeah. I'm just happy that I'm vaccinated.

[00:40:22] Fabiola Lara: That's right.

[00:40:23] Ruby Marquez: That's my number one. Cause like this shit was awful. Awful, awful. Like dealing with it.

It's already been like, this was vaccinated, right? Something like

that. Yeah. This shit would have taken me out if I wasn't vaccinated. I'm pretty sure. Yeah.

[00:40:40] Fabiola Lara: Wow. I'm glad you were vaccinated. And I can't thank you enough for doing this interview despite. Feeling a little under the weather or lingering COVID symptoms. I have to say. Yeah, thank you.

[00:40:53] Ruby Marquez: I'm feeling myself a little fevery I felt giggly.

[00:40:58] Fabiola Lara: How can everyone support [00:41:00] you in this like capitalist society that we live in? How can people support you?

[00:41:04] Ruby Marquez: Mean, you could follow and like share my, my art.

That's like, that's free. At Broobs on Instagram. And then if you, if you want to give me money and support me that way, I have a Patreon patreon.com/broobs I have some art for sale. Um, I do very limited prints. Just because, it's kind of hard to send prints out. And then I am also starting a podcast with my friend Pena called Chismeando that is coming up somewhat soon.

[00:41:36] Fabiola Lara: Awesome. I'll definitely be staying tuned for that. Thank you so much. No problem. Thank you.

So if you liked today's episode, be sure to tune back in in two weeks for the next episode, wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks so much for supporting the show. See you next time.[00:42:00]